


The Man in the Mirror

by MarvelousMenagerie (HiddenOne)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A Non-Winter Soldier Bucky appears, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comic Book Science, Insecure Bucky Barnes, M/M, Multiverse, Upsetting the non-Bucky James Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 23:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenOne/pseuds/MarvelousMenagerie
Summary: James was on a date with Tony, a date which had been going very well until JARVIS informs them that there is another James Barnes up on the roof.It's Bucky, Bucky from a time before Hydra, before he fell from the train. They need to get Bucky back to where he came from, but Steve is reluctant to let him go. And Bucky fits in so well with the rest of the team including Tony...





	The Man in the Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for my Marvel Trumps Hate 2018 auction. Thanks to seleneaurora for their donation, wonderful prompt, and their patience!!
> 
> Also thank you to Arboreal for their wonderful suggestions after their read-through <3

James kept himself still. 

Tony did not. Tony fidgeted - rocking on his feet, fingers drumming on his thighs, biting his lip. 

James doubted that Tony was nervous. What does Tony Stark have to be nervous about? No, Tony was just always moving, always seeing the future and moving toward it. It’s James who was nervous, but he had bottled the nerves and anticipation, shutting it away and remaining still. 

He watched the numbers in the elevator tick up and up and up, all the way to number of the penthouse suite. 

The doors opened with a ding.

James’ skin buzzed. If he met Tony’s gaze, the control that he had over himself might slip, and so he stared at the empty penthouse rather than look to Tony. 

The third date. 

“You up for a cup of coffee yet, or is it past your bedtime?” Tony had asked earlier, voice low and inviting, down in the lobby.

James knew what that meant. He’d researched modern dating extensively before he’d finally asked Tony out last week for their first date; he hadn’t wanted the old memories from Bucky to trip him up too much when he tried to date Tony. 

Tony, who was everything modern and futuristic and wonderful. 

Tonight had gone well. They’d gone to a car show - it had been Tony’s idea, and Tony’s tickets in. James had enjoyed hearing about the modifications to the engines, judging the flashy paint jobs, touching the leather seats. James had dressed up, meaning he’d let Natasha pick out the button down and jacket that he would wear with jeans. 

James was relieved their fanciest and most public date yet had gone well. 

And, it was the third date. And, Tony had invited him up for coffee. 

And, he had said yes. 

As nice as Tony’s clothes were, James’ fingers itched to get Tony out of them. He wanted to touch and explore, wanted to have Tony whisper in his ear about what was working for Tony. He wanted - he wanted more, and he was glad Tony asked about coffee. 

James followed Tony through the elevator doors. There was a hitch in Tony’s step, and Tony turned toward the kitchen. 

James frowned but continued to follow. 

Tony entered the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. James watched as Tony went about making a pot of coffee. James liked watching Tony, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that James has watched Tony enough to know that Tony’s fingers twitched with extra energy when Tony spooned out the coffee grounds. It was the quick, hidden glances that Tony stole, when Tony had never bothered hiding before. It was how slow Tony moved, even though Tony appeared focused on the task of making them coffee.

James took a deep breath and hoped it wasn’t regret that had made Tony turn into the kitchen and set about making coffee. 

He stepped forward, and Tony turned to him with wide eyes and an open face. 

“I know what euphemisms are,” James said as he took slow, measured strides that ate up the distance between them. He left plenty of time for Tony to move or side-step. 

Tony didn’t. 

Tony snorted. “I’m glad you’ve managed to pick that up. If not that would take priority, educational 101 tutorial right now.” 

If James was Tony, there were a number of salacious remarks he would make. James felt them on the tip of his own tongue, building off the educational tease, so used to watching and listening to Tony that he took to predicting what the man would say. Even ‘Bucky Barnes’ could have come up with a proper retort, full of innuendo and promise. James didn’t have those words though. He didn’t own them, and he didn’t want to use someone else’s phrases to romance Tony. 

Also, James knew that Tony loved coffee. Maybe James was wrong, and that’s all this was about: actual coffee.

“Third date,” James said. “Inviting up for coffee…”

Tony licked his lips. “I mean, right, that’s a thing. It doesn’t have to be our thing, of course, it can just be - be a date, our third, and it can be just coffee. I wasn’t trying to con you into something I just -”

Tony Stark was nervous. James felt a thrill, better than even the knowledge of a successful mission. He reached out and took Tony’s hand. 

Tony swallowed the rest of his sentence. 

James threaded their fingers together.

“I know,” he said quietly, “but don’t forget. I said yes.”

Tony’s mouth opened, then snapped shut. He giggled, and leaned forward until he was resting against James chest. 

“You did. You did say yes,” Tony said into James’ shirt. “I mean, that’s totally what I thought, but then it’s a long elevator ride. I should really do something about the speed, don’t you think? Because the brain starts going, during that long ride, and I realized you might’ve thought I mean just coffee, you know, and I didn’t want to be the creep ‘I have coffee in my bedroom, come see,’ so then we ended up in the kitchen and…”

“And I don’t want coffee.”

“You don’t?” Tony asked, jerking his head up and away from James.

James huffed and tugged on Tony’s hand to keep Tony close. “I don’t want coffee,” he repeated, tilting his head toward the coffee maker. 

“Oh, oh, right good,” Tony said as a smile spread across his face. “Well, I’d like a sip or two of you, in any case.”

James grinned. “Am I the coffee? I think that makes you the espresso.”

“Is that a short joke? I think that’s a short joke, and in my own Tower too which is patently _not allowed_, sugar stick, so you better watch yourself.”

“Sugar stick?” James asked with a raised eyebrow.

Tony shrugged. “I mean, sugar into the coffee, and then you stir with one of those thin, red plastic things. Well, it used to be, except those popsicle-sticks or tongue depressors or whatever they are became more environmentally friendly so they’ve taken over. All for the best, I’m sure, I totally agree.”

James tilted Tony’s head up. Tony got the cue and lifted up on his toes, while James leaned down. They met in the middle for a soft kiss, a fragile connection that lingered and lingered as neither pulled back. 

James still held Tony’s hand. He squeezed it, and Tony squeezed back. Then Tony deepened the kiss, opening up under James’ mouth. 

“Sir.”

“Not now, JARVIS,” Tony muttered against James’ lips. 

“Unfortunately this is an emergency event.”

Tony pulled back from James. “What?” Tony snapped.

“My sensors tell me that there is an additional James Barnes currently on the roof.”

Time slowed down. Before James had taken another breath, he had a knife in hand. His heartbeat was loud in his ears. He saw Tony frown, then swallow whatever protest Tony had wanted to say. 

He strode for the roof, hearing Tony trail behind him. 

He was James Barnes. He’d spend so long analyzing and pondering and evaluating who he was. _He was James Barnes_. He couldn’t be wrong. After everything he’d gone to reclaim his identity and break away from the history of Bucky Barnes, establish himself as his own person, he couldn’t be wrong. 

He wasn’t wrong. He was James Barnes. This person had to be someone else. 

A trick from Hydra? Could they have made another Winter Soldier, some sort of clone? He almost asked Tony, but held the words back. He didn’t want to know, and didn’t want to speculate. He would wait for observations and get rid of this threat if needed. 

James stepped out onto the roof, crouched and wary. He saw the man and froze. 

This man was not James Barnes. 

The man had his face, but where James no longer shaved this man did. This man had the same blue eyes, but where James were dark and flinted this man’s were still bright and curious. This man had the same set of his shoulders, but where James’ left arm ended in metal this man’s was still flesh. 

Dressed in sturdy brown cotton pants and a bold blue coat, the man clutched his M1911A1 pistol that James knew from experience would pull slightly to the left as it shot. The man had the gun aimed at James, but then lowered it as his jaw dropped in shock. 

This man wasn’t James Barnes, but James knew who he was. This was _Bucky_. 

“Who are you?” Tony questioned as he stepped around James. His left hand was encased in a gauntlet that had erupted out of his watch, but no doubt the rest of the Iron Man armor was on its way. 

Tony didn’t aim his repulsor at Bucky though, not yet. Only James had his knife up and ready for use. 

“Who are _you_?” the man returned, his gaze still on James’ face. His blue eyes, the same shade as James saw in the mirror, were wide with shock. 

James heard Steve’s tell-tale footsteps racing up the stairs. He tilted his head down as Steve burst onto the roof, his heart already sinking. 

“Steve?”

James watched. Bucky has stumbled forward, as if drawn to Steve. Bucky’s eyes were huge, his surprise clear, and Steve - 

Steve wasn’t dressed in uniform, only jeans and a T-shirt, but he had the shield. Still, it wouldn’t have even mattered; Bucky would probably be able to recognize Steve in any decade. Of course he could, it was _Bucky_. 

“Bucky?” Steve whispered, the shield on his arm lowering. 

Everything James expected, everything James _feared_ was in Steve’s voice. In that one word.

Bucky. 

It wasn’t just the identity of the man. It was Steve’s hope and heartbreak all bundled in that word. Everything that Steve didn’t get back before, when he only ended up with James, he could have back again. 

Because there he was. Bucky Barnes. 

A real Bucky Barnes - not the damaged model that Hydra had chewed up and spit back out.

“Not to be party pooper here, but uh, that’s not possible,” Tony said. 

James disagreed. James didn’t know how he knew, but he was certain. 

It was how the man stood, how he looked at Steve, how he held his gun. 

James knew all of these parts, knew that he could emulate them but had decided not to. Had decided to be James instead of Bucky, breaking Steve’s heart in the process. JARVIS had identified the man as James Barnes, but that wasn’t true. Now, now Steve could have _Bucky _again. 

“Where am I, Steve? Where are we?” Bucky asked. 

Steve stepped toward Bucky, but Tony put out a hand. 

“Wait, Cap -”

“Tony! Come on, you -”

“Something weird has happened,” Tony hissed. “_Obviously_. And we don’t know what flavor of weird yet, do we? And since you’re compromised here, I’m taking the lead.”

Steve snorted and settled back on his heels. He tried to cross his arms but the shield got in the way and so one went to his hip while he held the shield in the other. 

“Fine. Are we going to solve it on the rooftop or can we move somewhere more comfortable?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Alright, uh, you there. Follow me. We’ll go find a comfy conference room where we can hash out just what the fuck is going on here.” Tony beckoned for Bucky to follow. 

Bucky hesitated. “Steve?” 

“It’s fine, Buck. Tony is a friend. We’re going to sort this out.”

James looked away. He couldn’t handle all the emotion in Steve’s eyes right then. He’d faded into the background for both Tony and Steve. Steve - with Steve he wasn’t surprised. That was Bucky Barnes in front of them, after all.

But Tony - Tony was just dealing with the problem, right? 

James silently trailed them to the conference room. 

The damn Tesseract, as usual. James didn’t remember it in the group of Bucky’s memories he had, but Bucky said he had been in the trenches and seen a flash of blue light. It had come from the German side, and the American soldiers that had been charging had just vanished. 

Steve frowned. He and Bucky talked over details - locations and timing and platoons - and Steve had gone sad. 

“What? Tell me what’s happening,” Bucky pressed. 

“You came here right before you and your platoon were captured by Hydra,” Steve said with a sigh before Tony could stop him. 

Bucky went pale. He swore and sat down hard in his chair. 

Tony glared at Steve. “Do you not understand the issues you’re creating here?”

Steve tilted his chin up, unashamed. “I thought you would be all for the sharing of information.”

“You can’t tell him what his future might be. He _might_ be your Bucky or he _might_ be from some alternate universe where something completely different happens and now you’ve altered everything!”

“He’s here, isn’t he? It’s already changed! What, Tony, you want to send him _back_? Back to Hydra, back to falling off that God damn train, back to -”

Steve aborted the hand movement, but James saw. He’d seen everything, tucked into the corner. 

Steve had wanted to point at James. Steve didn’t want to send _Bucky_ back to become James. 

James wasn’t surprised. He and Steve’s relationship had struggled. James wasn’t the Bucky that Steve had thought, had wanted. James wasn’t the best friend from years past and couldn’t be that. Steve had needed Bucky, and Bucky hadn’t been there. With Sam and Tony and Natasha and the team though, Steve’s need had faded. Steve and James had their own memories, their own friendship, but James knew it hadn’t compared to Steve-and-Bucky, and now - and now Steve had his Bucky. 

“James -” Steve started.

James didn’t let him finish. He didn’t need to hear it. He’d heard enough. He’d heard it back on that rooftop with how Steve had said ‘Bucky.’

James walked out the door and didn’t look back. 

“Steve, tell me what’s happening!” Bucky pleaded. 

And Steve didn’t follow James. 

Tony found him soon after.

“Should’ve left when you did, it just got worse,” Tony said with a weak grin. “I’m going to start working on a way to get him back to where he needs to be.”

James nodded.

“Uh, alright. I’ll, um, see you soon?”

James nodded again. Tony managed a wider grin then headed for the workshop.

James watched Tony walk away. It wasn’t how he had wanted the end of their date to go, but Tony had other things to worry about. 

Besides, the sooner they were able to get _Bucky_ back to his proper place, the better. 

Only, James realized, Bucky’s place would always be at Steve’s side. 

Or maybe it was that Steve’s place was always at Bucky’s side. Wherever James turned, they were together. In the kitchen, Steve was showing Bucky how to use the microwave. In the common room, Steve and Bucky were rewatching their favorites. At the window, Steve was pointing old landmarks out to Bucky. 

Bucky wasn’t allowed to leave the Tower, but Steve and he found plenty to do inside it. Bucky marveled over everything new and reminisced over everything old. 

He was Steve’s best friend, truly back.

James watched them. He couldn’t help himself. That could’ve been him, if he had pretended, but it wasn’t. He wasn’t Bucky and had already made the decision that he didn’t want to try to be Bucky, but - but it hurt to watch Steve be so happy. Another thing that Hydra took from him, took from _them_, and James thought he had moved on from that but here Bucky was to put him and Steve through it all over again. 

James couldn’t look away. 

But that wasn’t even the worst of it. 

The worst of it is that Bucky fit in with the team. There is movie night and team dinner and drills, and Steve drags Bucky to everything because the two of them have always dragged each other into everything - except the war. 

Bucky didn’t drag Steve into the war, Steve did that all by himself.

Bucky can carry on a conversation with Sam that’s more than trading insults. Bucky bonds with Clint over long-range targeting, and Bucky expresses the proper interest in Bruce’s science experiment. Bucky tries to chat up Natasha and gets shot down, but both walk away with a smile on their face because even getting rejected Bucky is charming. 

James had breathed a sigh of relief at that, though, because that meant Bucky was still focused on women. He had one thing he didn’t need to worry about, because Bucky chatting up dames meant he wouldn’t make eyes at Tony. 

Only James didn’t get breaks like that, did he?

Tony had to talk to Bucky. Tony needed specifics about when and where Bucky came from, to try to get Bucky back where he belonged. 

James couldn’t help but watch those conversations too, even as they stirred up old memories as Bucky explained everything he could about what he remembered about that moment. They were so similar - in histories, in choices. Was Steve right, to try to keep Bucky from James’ fate? Could James send Bucky back, knowing that his past might become Bucky’s future?

But wasn’t there another Steve out there that needed this Bucky? 

Tony _had_ to talk to Bucky. But Tony was charming, and Bucky was charming, and together they bantered and teased and laughed up a storm. When Steve watched them, standing back with his arms folded and a wry smile on his face, the picture just looked right. Even to James, it looked right. Bucky and Tony and Steve, after all they’d been through, smiling and laughing here in the Avengers Tower. 

James ducked his head and clenched his metal fist. James had needed Tony’s engineering skills for his arm, and those workshop visits had been the basis of their friendship. James had needed a reason and also several months to be able to talk to Tony, to get to know Tony, to ask Tony out. 

Bucky needed no excuses. Bucky could talk to Tony because Bucky could just talk. Bucky could socialize, Bucky could joke, Bucky could - Bucky could be someone without the weight of the past dragging him down. 

Bucky didn’t hide back in the shadows like James did and watch other people have conversations. Bucky could rest easy under the light, laid back and relaxed as he chatted. 

“James, James, hey!” Tony called out.

Steve and Bucky were already gone, gone to watch a baseball game or a movie or maybe talk over the past again. James had stayed to catch a few more moments of Tony, though - of Tony frowning down at his Starkpad of notes and running a hand through his messy curls. 

Tony had noticed. 

“Haven’t seen you around much. How are you holding up with all the -” Tony waved a hand after Steve and Bucky, then circled it around to encompass the whole Tower, “everything?”

“You look tired,” James replied. 

Tony did look tired. There was a manic sheen in his eyes and his skin was pale. 

Tony shrugged off James’ concern. “Dimension hopping isn’t a joke. If I didn’t know it had already been done, well - well, someone did it, so I can do it. All I need to do is catch up.”

James nodded. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“You could visit me anytime. Workshop is open -”

Bucky’s head popped back around the doorway. “Hey, Tony, did you want to join - oh, hello!” 

James let his face go blank. 

He hadn’t talked to Bucky himself, but assumed someone - Steve, probably - had filled Bucky in on the fate of _this_ Steve’s James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. James hadn’t talked to Bucky, didn’t want to talk to Bucky. He already had Bucky in his mind, in his memories, reminding him of who he didn’t manage to be. He didn’t need another one in the flesh to do that too. 

“Um, Steve and I were going to order some food. Did you want something? You could join us. You too, uh -” Bucky said, looking from Tony to James. “Modern-me.”

“Well, I was going to go modify my algorithms with these notes -” Tony started to say, gaze darting between Bucky and James. Tony was usually great at smoothing over awkwardness, but was too tired to do so right then. 

“You should eat,” James interrupted. “You need a break.”

Bucky was working Tony too hard, with his appearance and then planning for his _disappearance_. Tony needed a break. 

“Okay,” Tony said slowly as he set his tablet aside. “Sure, I could eat. James, you’re coming, right -”

James shook his head and then strode away. He didn’t want to be there, sitting with Steve and Tony and Bucky. Seeing them from his place in the shadows was hard enough, but having to sit next to them? No, no James didn’t want to do that. 

But Tony should have a break, and he was better with Bucky and Steve. James could see it, and it almost made sense. 

Almost as if the universe was telling them all something, right? Sure, Tony and James had gone on a few dates but wasn’t the better match between Tony and _Bucky_? The small remnants of Bucky that still remained in James weren’t enough - the real Bucky had to get dropped from another dimension. Both smart, flirty men who could charm a room but would be dedicated to each other. James could see it, how it could’ve been if he’d known Tony before. 

But that wasn’t an option then, and now there was only James. James who was not the charmer, not the one with the come-backs, not _Bucky_. He was not enough, was he? Not with Bucky here. 

Would he be enough when Bucky was gone?

Finally, Tony declared he had the machine ready. It didn’t look like the time machines of old, of capsules and wires, but Tony had always managed to design elegant creations. There was a circle of metal on the floor, with four slim rods that came out of the edge and then reached up and curved until they met over the center. There was space for three humans to stand there, if needed, but there was only Bucky. 

James watched from the shadows as Bucky gave his goodbyes. There were simple nods to the team, a tearful hug from Steve, and then a handshake from Tony. 

Did the handshake linger? Was that regret in Tony’s eyes? James saw the look that Bucky directed his way, but James didn’t step forward to give his own goodbye. He was more concerned with the last glance that Bucky gave Tony before Bucky stepped into the machine. 

Steve, arms crossed, gave Tony the final nod even as he never looked away from Bucky. 

Bucky kept Steve’s gaze, even offered Steve a grin. Bucky could handle that heavy gaze of Steve’s, Bucky could carry all that hope and love and expectation. 

James couldn’t. James didn’t, had discarded the name of Bucky Barnes and most of the obligations that came with it. He couldn’t carry that weight, and he had flinched from Steve whenever Steve had directed that look his way. 

Bucky didn’t. Bucky stayed strong. 

“Live long and prosper,” Tony said quietly and then tapped at his keyboard.

The machine whirred. The circle of light at Bucky’s feet raced around and around and around until it shot up through the rods and encased Bucky in a bubble of light blue energy. Bucky waved, still grinning. 

The sound increased, a hum that drilled in James’ brain with his advanced hearing. Steve winced, and still the sound increased. There was a high-pitched shrieking noise, the rods vibrating from the energy racing through them. Bucky looked out from the circle with panic on his face.

“Shut it down!” Steve shouted. 

“One more second!” Tony said as he watched a hologram that was showing scrolls of data and spikes on a graph. “One more - nope, okay, bad sign.”

Tony typed, his fingers flying across the keys. At first there was nothing, the machine continued to whine and the rest of the team covered their ears as the sound got to them, too. Then, finally, the noise started to decrease and decrease until there was no blue energy that blocked Bucky off in a bubble, and the trail of light that circled Bucky’s feet only trudged along. 

Bucky stepped out of the machine, a long breath escaping him. Steve swept him up in another hug. 

Tony scratched his head. “I wonder what happened to those blueberries, then.”

“You tested this out on _blueberries_?” Steve asked, shocked.

“As one of many tests, thank you,” Tony replied with a sniff. “And I, well, didn’t expect that to not work.”

Bucky shrugged. “Ain’t nothin’ to me. I can hang around a bit longer, can’t I? You won’t kick me out?”

Tony snorted. “You haven’t worn out your welcome just yet, soldier boy.”

“Of course not, Bucky,” Steve said, a bright smile on his face. “Of course you can stay!”

James walked away. 

James kept walking away. He walked away from the lab, from the team, from the Tower. He simply left, leaving his phone and anything else that could be used to track him behind. 

They had Bucky back, now. No one needed James around to remind them of what happened to the Bucky Barnes of this timeline, of how twisted and shredded that man had become. 

Now, Bucky Barnes wasn’t the Winter Soldier. Bucky Barnes didn’t work for Hydra, Bucky Barnes didn’t assassinate dozens of good people. Bucky Barnes was who Bucky Barnes was supposed to be and James - 

James was no longer needed. 

Well, James hadn’t had a purpose since he’d left Hydra. He fought with the Avengers, yes, but he wasn’t essential. There was an entire team of superheroes. They did not need James, not really. 

No, the difference now was that he was no longer wanted. 

Bucky was there. Bucky could be the friend Steve needed, and Bucky could be the boyfriend Tony deserved. There was no need, no desire, no space for James. 

He caught a train north, ducking his head against security cameras so that JARVIS wouldn’t be able to trace him - if JARVIS bothered to look for him. 

He needed to escape into the wilderness for awhile, as there was no possible way to track him there. There were too many cameras in American cities now for him to risk staying in one. After he gave time for the trail to go cold, then he could see about slipping in to catch a ride to another country. 

He’d liked Romania. Maybe he could go back there. 

He switched lines, double-backed, laid false trails. It was his old instincts flaring back to life - several targets had lived in metropolitan places they had rarely left, and the Asset had adjusted as needed. 

Wait. No. He wasn’t the Asset anymore. He was James. And he - did he want to be found? He wasn’t running from Hydra. 

Hope started to rise within him, and he crushed it quickly. He had left. He did not expect to be followed. He didn’t _want_ to be followed, because otherwise he wouldn’t have left. He would rather be on his own and not have to watch Bucky take over his relationships. If they even were _his_ relationships. Maybe they were Bucky’s all this time. 

James reached the last train station. He got off and started walking north. He kept walking, past stores and restaurants and houses until the houses got farther and farther apart. The traffic lessened, the road got quiet.

James cut away from the road and went into the trees. The ground was muddy from recent rainfall, and he scowled over the footprints he left. If he was still the Asset, he would cover his tracks better. 

But he wasn’t the Asset. He was James, and he decided it wasn’t worth his effort. He didn’t expect anyone to come after him to find the tracks. 

He thought it funny how he was more sought after as the Asset then he was as James. 

He kept walking. He was finally free, as he had wanted when he was leaving Hydra. He hadn’t wanted connections or obligations; he had run from Steve for those very reasons. It had taken months before he finally let Steve bring him to the Tower and meet the other Avengers. He had only wanted to be on his own and figure out his mind. 

He’d have all the time in the world for that, now. 

Night had fallen and still James trudged on. He didn’t feel tired and had no desire to dream. He was sure that Bucky, or some of Bucky’s memories, would haunt him there. 

There was a breeze through the trees, making the leaves rustle. It masked the sound of repulsors in the air, until James knew it was too late. Tony knew where he was, was headed for him. He could run, but - 

But James looked to the sky, heart twisting, as he waited for the Iron Man armor to break through the tree line. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, whether if it was just Tony or if Tony brought Steve with him or if the team was behind in the jet or - what if they didn’t realize he left on his own? What if they thought something happened to him, that he got kidnapped or lost, and that’s why they came?

James’ stomach dropped, but he didn’t have time to change his mind and run. The Iron Man armor crashed through branches and landed on the ground in front of him, leaves and sticks falling around it. 

The armor stood and then retracted, leaving Tony in its place. Tony, still dressed in the T-shirt and jeans he’d been wearing earlier that day, took a hesitant step forward. 

“Hey. Um, I brought snacks - care for a picnic?”

James stared, then blinked. He realized that the Iron Man armor had a bag clutched in one gauntlet.

He nodded.

“Cool, yeah, I think there’s a bit more space up over there.” Tony thumbed behind him. 

James nodded again. He followed Tony through the trees, the Iron Man armor clomping along behind them. 

Tony didn’t have a picnic blanket, so they sat on the grass. He didn’t have plates or utensils either, but they didn’t need them. Tony’s picnic consisted of a couple of bruised plums, a block of colby jack cheese, a bunch of green bananas, and two pints of blueberries - which was usually why Tony didn’t do the grocery shopping. 

Tony tossed James a plum, and James bit into it as he passed Tony one of his knives for Tony to start on the cheese. 

“Going anywhere fun?” Tony asked as he sawed at the plastic shrink-wrapped around the cheese. 

James shrugged.

“You forgot your phone.” Tony didn’t look up at James, focused on the cheese. “And your credit cards, some clothes, basic toiletries. Didn’t I say you should always have some beard oil on hand? I was serious about that. And, well, there’s the fact that you forgot to leave a note.”

Tony held out a slice of cheese. 

James accepted it. He took a bite. He chewed slowly, then swallowed.

“How did you find me?” James asked, his voice scratchy. He sucked at the plum for juice, realizing that he was thirsty. 

Tony grimaced, reluctant to answer. He handed Bucky a bottle of water.

Tony sighed. “You missed dodging an ATM camera when you got off in Albany. I did widening circles until I picked up your trail back by the road.”

James nodded. He took a drink.

“I answered yours, now you answer mine.”

“Yes, you did say I should always have beard oil on hand,” James replied. At Tony’s glare, he raised an eyebrow. “It was one of your questions.”

Tony huffed. “You’re too clever for your own good.”

They ate in silence for awhile, though James could see Tony twitching with restless energy as they did. James wondered if the questions would simply vibrate themselves out of Tony’s skin before Tony could ask them. 

“Are you,” Tony cleared his throat, “are you planning on coming back? ...soon?” 

“Do you want me to?”

James clenched his jaw. He hated how insecure he sounded with that question. He shouldn’t have bothered asking it. Tony was smart. James couldn’t look at him to see the knowledge in Tony’s eyes. Tony would know.

“Yes,” Tony said firmly. “Yes, of course. James, I… Look, fuck the Avengers.”

James looked over, startled. Tony’s eyes were bright and shining under the moonlight. 

“Forget about the team, about duty. I mean, I’m sure everyone on the team would miss you too and we could certainly use you in the field, but I want you back because I’m selfish. Long-distance relationships are hard, and I thought we had something good. I want another date. One we don’t get interrupted at the end.” Tony flashed a smirk and wiggled his eyebrows, but his eyes were pleading. “Don’t you?”

James bit his lip. His heart raced, but his mind wouldn’t let go of the phrase drumming inside his head. “But Bucky…” He looked over at Tony, begging to be convinced. 

Tony smiled softly. “Seems like a good guy, but he’s not the one I’ve been after for months.”

“What?” James asked, startled.

Tony’s smile turned into a grin. “Surprised? I thought everyone had figured it out after like, a week. Couldn’t tell if you were playing hard to get or just weren’t interested.”

James shook his head. “No, of course not. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have - I would’ve asked you out sooner.”

“All good. We have now,” Tony said, voice soft. “Don’t we, snowflake?”

James fiddled with the water bottle. 

“You’re the one that I want. I’ll totally sing it for you, if you’re into that. A little moonlight serenade, pretty romantic, right? Oh, the one I need, oh yes indeed, you’re the one that I want.” Tony hummed a few bars. 

James laughed, feeling lighter. 

“I don’t sing for just anyone, I’ll have you know. This is a special show, invitation only. Oooh, oooh, oooh,” Tony crooned. “The one that I want!”

James slid over and kissed the next line from Tony’s lips. He was brimming with emotion, all twisted up and swirling with it, but touching Tony made it easier to handle. James slid an arm around Tony’s waist and pressed against him. 

“I want you too,” James whispered as if it was a secret. “It’s just - you deserve -”

Tony tried to shush him, but James pushed the words through anyway. 

“Good things, great things, and Bucky has less - baggage,” James said, finally deciding on the right word. “You two would be good together.”

Tony snorted. “I don’t care. Look, I can’t speak for - for anyone else, but between you and Bucky? You win. I choose you.” Tony gazed up at him, eyes wide and sincere. “Besides, I got a lot of issues myself. We can trade - I’ll carry yours, you carry mine?” 

James felt the urge to cry. He resisted, but he didn’t resist the urge to lean down and kiss Tony, soft and wet and deep. A promise. James would be there for Tony, just as Tony was there for James. 

When that kiss was done, then another, and then another, Tony asked around a handful of blueberries - “Come home with me?”

James smiled and made his choice. He chose Tony. 

* * *

“James, hey.” Steve’s voice was soft. 

James stiffened. That tone of voice didn’t match Steve, and neither did the self-conscious crossed arms. Steve leaned against the doorway, which didn’t block the only exit, but did obstruct the primary one. 

Tony wasn’t too fond of those who broke his windows on his Tower, but Tony would understand the circumstances right? 

“Can I talk to you?” 

James had only come into his room to grab a sweatshirt, but now he was trapped. Steve had a determined twist to his mouth that James recognized. 

James shrugged. “Talk.”

Steve was quiet for several moments, then blew out a breath. James watched, wary. 

“Look, I didn’t - I think I - okay, let me try that again.” Steve ran a hand through his hair. “I realize that it might have come across as, well, abandoning you for Bucky, these past few days.”

James raised an eyebrow. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Steve assured, his shoulders hunched and eyes pleading. “I just - it’s Bucky.”

James snorted. “You done?” he asked as he strode for the doorway, intending on pushing past Steve. 

“No, I - I mean I’m sorry. I was so excited about it being the Bucky I remembered and got caught up in it, but - but he belongs where he belongs. There’s another Steve that’s his Steve.”

James looked away. This Steve didn’t have a Bucky. This Steve only had a replacement. 

Steve reached out and settled a hand on James’ shoulder. “I’m not who he knows either. I’ve changed from back then - more than I realized, I think. But it put things in perspective, talking to him, and just - I’m glad we have each other. Neither of us are the same, but we’re doing good here, now, in these modern times. I think that’s really something.”

“You and your speeches.” 

“We don’t all have your charm,” Steve teased. 

Steve angled his body for a hug, but he let James decide. 

James went for it, wrapping his arms around Steve’s broad back and squeezing. Bucky wasn’t used to hugging this Steve, with how tall and wide he was. These moments were James’ alone, where it was just them and not reliving some memory. 

“Hey, I think I’ve - !” Tony ran down the hall, pulling up short. “Uh, sorry, did I ruin a moment?”

“All good, Tony,” Steve said with a smile as he pulled back from James. “Moment done. You have news?”

“Yeah, I uh, finally got in that consultation with Doctor Strange - you won’t _believe_ that guy’s waiting list, seriously - and I think I’ve fixed the time machine.” Tony’s gaze darted from Steve to James. “I can send Bucky back now.”

Steve took a big, heaving breath, then nodded. “Good. He should get back home.”

“Hey, can I talk to you?”

James gritted his teeth at another gentle conversation opener. “What?” He snapped, voice low, as Tony talked through his changes to a very focused Bruce. 

Bucky settled back on his heels, then squared himself up. “I, uh, wanted to say thanks.”

James crossed his arms and glared. 

“I’m serious,” Bucky insisted. “I know we didn’t - interact, much. Which is probably for the best because it’s crazy weird, you know? This whole thing blew my mind and talking to my future self would’ve just been -” Bucky widened his eyes and shook his head. “Too much. But uh, it was good to know that you’re doing alright.”

James scoffed in disbelief.

“Hey, man! You’re here, now, with all these machines? You have a flying robot, and even better he’s your boyfriend!” 

Bucky’s voice had raised to carry. Tony glanced over, then away, his smile wide. Steve smirked.

James scowled but didn’t deny it. 

Bucky lowered his voice. “Look, Stevie told me some of the things that happened to you. They turn my stomach, thinking it might be me. Makes me wanna do the yellow belly thing and run, but I won’t.” 

Bucky took a breath. 

“If it happens to me, I’ll know I can do it. I’ll be brave because of you. I’ll stay strong because I know you did and made it out the other side.”

James clenched his jaw shut, but Bucky’s bright blue gaze made him speak.

“It’s not bravery. It’s not strength,” James sneered. “I - I survived. That’s all. I didn’t do anything _heroic_, and some days I still wish I’d died just to end it. Don’t, don’t -”

“Admire you?” Bucky finished for him. “Too late, already doing that. You made it, however you did it, and you got - look at you, with Steve and a team and a fella and everything. If it happens to me, when I go back, well, just, thank you for the hope. That it’ll get better, if I just keep going.” 

James shook his head, and Bucky grinned. 

“Sorry, soldier. Take it or leave it, but you’ve given me hope. Now, treat your guy well. Maybe take him dancing? He looks like the dancing kind.”

James looked at Tony. Tony was explaining something to Bruce and Steve, his hands waving through the air, and James felt the smile that wanted to take over. 

“I hope - I hope, if it does happen to you, that you have a Tony Stark.”

Bucky smiled wide. “Me too.”

Bucky took his place on the platform. James joined the group, no longer waiting back in the shadows this time. Steve still looked sad, but smiled when Bucky saluted them. 

Tony started up the machine. The lights still glowed blue, and the humming began. It grew louder and louder, the lights faster and faster, but this time instead of a high-pitched whine there was a deep groan. 

The low sound continued until between one moment and the next, Bucky was gone. 

Tony turned the machine off. The platform remained empty. They stared at the space that Bucky Barnes had previously occupied. 

Steve clapped James on the shoulder and walked out, body tense. James didn’t want to know what it felt like for Steve to lose another Bucky, again. He would let Steve mourn in peace or let one of the others handle it. He knew he wasn’t the right person just then. 

Bruce and the rest trickled out as well, the show over. James stayed.

“Something on your mind, snowflake?” Tony asked as he poked at the machine. “I’m thinking - I mean, I should dismantle this, I know, but what if we tried something else, like bringing someone forward? Someone like John Lennon? That’s really only a bonus to the world, really.”

James smiled. “Why don’t we think about it over another date?” 

Tony brightened. “Really? Yes. I’m free. Now, I mean. Now is good.”

“Now is good,” James murmured. He wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist and tugged Tony to his side. “Dinner. Drinks. Um… dancing?” 

Tony smiled. “Dancing is good. I think the modern club dancing might scare you, but we can make something work. Maybe pull back the couches in the living room and have JARVIS put on something we’ll both know. Whatever you want, big guy.”

“Could be a late night. Might need some coffee later?” James bit his lip, tentative. He wasn’t sure what was too much, too soon.

Bucky might know, like how Bucky knew about the dancing, but - but James would be fine. This was James’ relationship, not Bucky’s, and Tony wanted to date James. 

Tony’s grin turned sultry. “Like I said, I’ll take a sip of you anytime, sugar stick. And hopefully tonight, there will be no interruptions.”


End file.
